Life with two young boys who are non-traditionally educated, means I have my kids nearly 24/7. There is never a dull moment, let alone down time. That is not a complaint, but rather a reality I have mostly accepted. I want my children home with me, I want to be a domestic engineer, maintaining the household and helping to support our family life, by being present in real time. I am often exhausted, but always grateful.
Constant
Our days are busy. Filled with countless activities, giggles, questions and explorations. On the agenda for most days are also: big emotions, opinions, brotherly confrontations, and the without fail, the challenging of mommy’s authority.
In addition to the needs and wants of the boys are the demands of our environment. You know… the meals, dishes, laundry, floors, grocery shopping clean up of toys and on a smooth day, the clean up of self. It’s more than enough to fill the given twenty-four hours, (even with the much appreciated support system I am blessed to have.)
Always More
And yet my internal dialogue, echoes the need for more. To offer and provide more. To accomplish more. To be more.
At first, it left me feeling defeated and somehow less valuable, as if it was saying that I wasn’t enough. Adding more to my day was all but impossible, no matter the effort I gave.
Over time I have come to hear it to mean I am more. I am capable of offering and providing more self-worth. With more self-worth comes more confidence, more motivation, more direction and more opportunity. There is more purpose to my journey, to me, than what I allow myself to see. I can be more of my authentic self. More of me, for me, which ultimately means, more for my boys and our family.
Sometimes more is better. Ask yourself, is it better for me?
