There are many days when I ask myself, if what I do matters. It’s a fair question right? I mean, does the fact that I spend my a majority of my time living out a checklist of choices that include washing dishes, making lunch, vacuuming and constantly putting away toys, really affect the world in a positive way? Does it truly have any affect at all?
In the short run, arguably, no. The only people truly affected by those choices on a daily basis are myself, my boys and the few people who randomly interact within our environment. And, truth be told, it only takes a couple of hours for a mornings worth of tiding and organizing to completely unravel.(Although I also know if I don’t complete my routine tasks, my mental wellbeing suffers.)
Intended Purpose
In the long run, however, I would like to think I am doing more than mundane tasks and that the effort examples consistency, dependability, teamwork commitment and dedication, which I hope will serve as a platform upon which my boys are able to build a personal sense of confidence, direction and independence.
Even with that as my hope and perspective, one of the most frequent thoughts I have is: with the limited amount of time I have with my children in terms of helping them develop character traits, gain problem solving skills, and just plain have healthy childhood experiences, where do I draw the line? How do I balance our time together? Afterall, it is our time, both mine and theirs.
And if I am truly honest, I suppose most of it is their time. I chose to bring them into my world. I chose to start them on this journey. So it is my job to find a balance, but read that for what it is, steadiness, not perfection. I have been entrusted to find a way to offer and teach them a steadiness in life. A steady flow of love, understanding, education, acceptance, comfort, security, challenge, motivation and awareness.
Resulting Response
Not to mention the fact that we all know, routine chores do not put me in “fun” or “cool mom”, category. At the ages of 3 and 7 my boys don’t have an understanding of how our external environment is an extension of our internal state, and both environments tend to mirror one another.
In their young and adventurous eyes, their racing minds and fidgeting bodies, everyone’s time is much better spent doing the activities that create what mostly, I see, as messes and endless chores.
Shared Outcomes
I cannot say that I disagree entirely, but I can have hope that in striving to offer my boys a steady balanced environment, even if it is based on monotonous actions, they will be able to one day recognize the opportunity it provided, just as much as I hope to not lose sight of gift of my boys wanting me to be a part of their present moments.
Not my playroom. Definitely my intended playroom.
Definitely my kid. Definitely his intended play type.
