I know most parents don’t get much choice.
We send our kids to school because we have to — to work, to survive, to give them a future. And for some, school is the safe space. The consistent meal. The place where someone finally notices they’re not okay.
And I’m grateful — deeply grateful — for the teachers who show up and do more than anyone sees. I had several of them in my life. They gave me room to breathe when I didn’t even know I needed it. They made space for me to just be — no performance required.
If you serve in a teaching capacity with your whole heart — I see you. I respect your effort, I appreciate your care, and I am truly grateful for your presence in the lives of those you serve. You matter. The difference you make is real.
But that doesn’t mean the system is working.
Because in all our testing, tracking, and benchmarking, I can’t help but wonder — who’s teaching our kids how to be human?
Where do they learn to:
- Regulate their emotions?
- Include someone who’s different?
- Ask better questions instead of memorize better answers?
- Deal with disagreement without shutting down or shutting others out?
- Serve?
- Listen?
- Notice?
- Care?
These aren’t bonus lessons. They’re the real curriculum.
And yet… they’re too often treated as optional. Or inconvenient. Or disruptive.
We are raising whole humans, not products. Not grades. Not data points.
And yes — I’ll miss things, too. I already have. I can’t catch every moment or model every lesson perfectly. Raising kids is hard. So is surviving. So is trying to do better with what you were handed.
I home educate my kids because I can. But also because I know what it’s like to be the straight-A student who knew how to memorize everything and meet every deadline — and still struggle with the life skills that actually matter.
I was good at school. But I had no idea how to navigate life.
I didn’t fit the cookie-cutter setting, even though I knew how to work the system. And I don’t want my kids to spend all their energy learning how to perform at the expense of learning how to be.
I want them to know how to learn — not just what to memorize.
I want them to know what they need to — and have space to explore what they want to.
I want them to feel safe being curious. Safe being wrong. Safe being themselves.
And I know I don’t have all the answers in educating my boys, either.
There will be gaps. And questions.
There will be struggles and doubts and missed opportunities.
But there is also space.
And opportunity.
And freedom — to build, explore, retry, and transform.
To shape something that honors who they are, not just who they’re expected to become.
I watched my son struggle over a project the other day — not because he didn’t understand it, but because he thought he had to get it right the first time.
And I realized: That’s what I learned, too.
That getting it wrong wasn’t part of learning — it was failure.
We’re unlearning that together now.
Because I’m not just teaching my kids.
I’m relearning everything I was taught to overlook.
That rest matters.
That curiosity is sacred.
That I don’t have to earn my worth through output.
It’s humbling. And holy. And hard.
But it’s worth it.
Because the world is going to require a lot from them — emotionally, mentally, spiritually. And they deserve an education that prepares them to live, not just achieve.
I’m not writing this to blame parents. Or teachers. Or the people who love their kids fiercely and send them to school because they have no other option.
I’m writing this because I believe we can ask better questions.
Because I believe that the goal of education should be wholeness — not just achievement.
And because I believe kids are already people. Not just future workers. Not just “potential.”
People. Right now.
We say “children are the future,” but I want to know —
what kind of present are we giving them?
I don’t have a perfect solution — just a commitment to keep asking the deeper questions.
If you’ve ever felt this tension too… you’re not alone.
Let’s keep building something better — one conversation, one kid, one courageous question at a time.
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